Report to Casualty

Everybody has a few stories that define the embarrassing and hilarious side of life.  These stories somehow come up over and over again, sometimes with the benefit of making someone else feel better about whatever embarrassing and stressful situation they are currently in.  I have my fair share of said stories.  How the dachshund I was pet-sitting ate the enormous parrot I was also pet-sitting.  How I gave myself a whopping black eye with a student's trombone three minutes before our Christmas concert started.  How I broke my wrist doing synchronized zip-lining for a Lake Olympics competition when I was a chaperon at a junior high camp.  And now, why I had to report to casualty and get my rabies vaccine.

I hope you read my previous post Monkeying Around.  If not, you should read it now, just so this post makes sense.  See, I was hanging out with some monkey friends and one bit my thumb.  Not hard, not viciously, just enough to draw a little blood and release the corn I was hoarding.  But it was still a monkey bite.

Richard and I have read and heard from very reliable sources that these monkeys are regularly vaccinated by volunteer vets.  No worries!  But we just thought we'd get a stamp of approval from our doctor.  We called up.  "Ummm...a monkey bit you?  Was it wild?  Maybe you should just check in with the hospital right across the street and see what they say."  Way to pass the buck.

So we drive literally across the street into the parking lot of Aga Khan Hospital.  It is a very nice hospital with a very good reputation.  We come in a back entrance and ask the information desk lady who we should see to tell us if I even need to be seen.  "I'm sending you to casualty.  Take two lefts and check in there."

Excuse me? CASUALTY?  But I'm not DEAD! This is way worse than I thought! I assumed casualty was the Kenyan word for morgue.  Turns out it's the emergency room.

We checked in, took a number, paid for the doctor's visit before we saw her ($13), went to Triage Room 1 where the nurse nearly laughed when I told her I was bitten by a monkey, waited a bit more and then was called back to see the doctor.  She had never been to visit the monkeys in City Park, and looked a little incredulous that any person in their right mind would choose to go near a monkey, vaccinated or not.  Then she declared that since the money had not been carrying his rabies vaccine papers with him at the time of the incident, I was to get my rabies vaccine and a tetanus booster (which by the way, was the most painful part of the whole process).

A nurse named Perpetual gave me my jabs, as they are called here, and told me I was brave.  I guess that's one upside to this whole monkey business.  I made a date with Perpetual to give me my next jab in the rabies series on Saturday, then I go back Wednesday and finally Wednesday week.

The good news is, I can go back and feed those monkeys till they are round has barrels if I want, because I've got immunity.

And if a monkey ever bites you, let me know.  I've got your back on making you feel better about it.